Parents are role models for their children

Native Parenting Conference calls for return to values, tradition
by Gary E. Mitchell

In an Indian world where kids are sexually abused, crack babies are a regular occurrence, drug abuse is on the rise, alcoholism is an addiction that affects whole reservations, and nine through eleven year old girls are getting pregnant along with getting venereal disease, it is painfully obvious that something has gone drastically wrong in the Indian family unit.

A Well Native Parenting Conference, held in Minneapolis, MN, sponsored by the Health Promotions Program of the University of Oklahoma, was to address these very serious issues.

The objectives of the conference were: “To provide information related to parenting skills, increase skills in parenting and to provide an arena/forum to share thoughts around Native American parenting,” according to Billy Rogers, Kiowa, who has trained thousands of Indian people in this area.

Judging by the enthusiasm of the 250 people who traveled from Alaska, Canada, California, and many points in between, these goals are accomplished. The four days of training turned into a meaningful experience for those concerned individuals in search of answers to the many social issues on their reservations. There is no doubt that the Indian family unit has suffered some damaging effects in the last five hundred years.

Claudia Griffith, Cherokee trainer, said this is the “sandwich generation,” a term meaning that many people in the middle-age bracket are taking care of both their parents and grandchildren. Thus, new and innovative parenting skills are needed today.

“Experience tells us the old models aren’t working,” said Krystal Kaakaapish Kewayosh, PhD, Potawatomi presenter from Canada, who conducted a workshop called “Our Sacred Path as Primary Teachers.”

A series of workshops focused on developing that new parenting model. One participant suggested it’s a combination of factors that will lead to new concepts in parenting; such concepts include a return to values, religion and tradition. “It will indeed take the entire village to rebuild,” said one participant.

Another participant said, “Indian children need to be protected because they have a heart of innocence. They have no say in coming into this world. We brought them here, and it is our obligation to provide unconditional love.”

Other options for a better parenting program include: communication, nurture of children, sex education for younger children, and exposing the young to their family and tribal history, as well as their culture and traditions. But, most of all, parents have to be role models for their children.

A presenter advised if Native Americans don’t want their children to drink or take drugs, then they can’t do the same thing themselves—a saying rooted in the value “that actions speak louder than words.”

Stevie Stephens-Burden from Wheeler, Oregon, suggested that to survive all the problems parents are faced with today and to realize a vision of a healthy family, parents must teach their children about peer pressure, alcoholism, drug abuse and all the other social problems.

Yet, Sarah Ann Ryland, MFCC, cautioned participants with some sound advice, “We are dealing with five hundred years of going wrong; it will take more than one year to correct these problems. Parents can’t do it by themselves; the community has to help.”